Bittersweet

Last week, I took a whirlwind trip to Tennessee. My Uncle Rick, whom I wrote about a little before I left, passed away unexpectedly. My mom and dad were nice enough to use their frequent flier miles to buy me a plane ticket so I could go to the funeral and spend time with the family.

Being back east again was strange for a lot of reasons. First and most important reason: my Uncle Rick, the most quietly kind and comforting person you'd ever meet, was gone. I was staying at his house, but he wasn't there anymore. It felt empty, even though the house was packed to capacity. (Aunt Linda asked all of us, including her sons who live 20 minutes away from her, to stay at the house.) I missed him. A lot.

Second reason: I was there for a funeral so I thought I ought to have been sad all the time. But I wasn't, and I feel kind of guilty for that. I was just so darn happy to be surrounded by my mom's family! We are all spread out over the U.S. (Washington, Minnesota, Tennessee, Utah.....) and we hardly ever get to see each other, so being in the same house together for four whole days felt like a happy reunion instead of a sad one.

Third reason: I felt like I had come back home. I lived with my aunt and uncle for a year, so coming back to the house and to the Tennessee hills brought back so many good memories and made me ache for how much I love it there.

It was a busy four days, and so much of it was sad, but there were some amazingly good moments, too--meeting Lydia and seeing Stephanie again (it kills me that they live so far away!); holding baby Leif; watching in wonder as my "little" cousin Randy, all grown up and married now, took control of the preparations and still kept one eye on his mom at all times to make sure she was ok; long catch-up conversations with Alan and Ryan....and Mark and Kamie and Brit, too!; a much-needed pedicure from Krissy; hugging and talking to my Aunt Linda; hanging out with my mom; and of course, the impromptu Abba dance party during lunch after the graveside service to honor Rick's varied musical tastes. He would have loved that.

All in all, the most perfect definition of "bittersweet."


This is the only funeral picture I'll post, just because the casket spray was absolutely gorgeous.


Ryan's tribute to Rick's sometimes-iffy footwear choices.


Mark, Mom, Kamie, and Brit in Atlanta after we found each other in the airport by accident and discovered we were all flying into Johnson City together. God works in mysterious ways. It's true.


Me + Leif + Aunt Linda's back porch = perfect peace.




Our one release: a visit to the Carter Family Fold in Virginia. We listened to old-time music, danced, and relaxed. A nice ending to a hard and emotional week. (Thanks for being brave, Mom and Steph and Lydia!)


Twilight in the Appalachian mountains, outside the Carter Fold. It makes my heart stand still.